New Event Coming Soon! The Carnival!
on May 25, 2025 5:49:49pm,
by [P.G] Smooth
It’s ME — your least favorite balloon-twisting, nerve-wracking, face-painted overlord: Grumpy The Clown — coming soon to inject some chaotic color into your otherwise pathetic prison lives.
THE CARNIVAL IS COMING SOON.
And no, this ain’t no kiddie fair. It’s a multi-week frenzy of mini-games, muscle-flexing, and me laughing at your struggle to win prizes. Here’s how your pitiful selves can participate when I arrive:
Step 1: FIGHT ME. Come one, come all — try your luck against yours truly. Win? Doubt it. But if you do, I’ll drop some Carnival Tokens... out of pity.
Step 2: PLAY GAMES. Take your tokens to my delightful torture chambers — I mean mini-games: Basketball? More like humiliation hoops. Archery? Let’s hope you hit something other than your pride. Shooting, Memory, even DEATH itself — each one a chance to fail gloriously and win Carnival Tickets anyway. Lucky you.
Step 3: SPEND THOSE TICKETS.
Welcome to the Carnival Shop, home of questionable decisions and glorious junk:
-
Cotton Candy (Sugar rush, energy boost... hyperventilation optional)
-
Balloon Animals (I made 'em myself... sorta)
-
Funnel Cake & Root Beer Floats (Health benefits questionable.)
-
Rubik’s Cubes (Pre-solved, so your feeble minds don't explode.)
-
Carnival Trophies (For overachievers and try-hards.)
- And much more!
There are 18 brand-new items and counting. Why? Because I can.
COMPETITIONS, YOU SAY? Yup. Highest scores, most tickets, most clown fights — all tracked. Maybe you’ll win a Trophy... or maybe you’ll win my eternal ridicule. So get ready. Polish your aim, toughen your skin, and brace for a whirlwind of rigged games, greasy snacks, and clown-induced trauma. The Carnival is rolling in soon. I’ll be watching... and laughing.
Forever yours in nightmares,
Grumpy The Clown
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